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      无根的青春漂泊、心灵遗恨与诗歌先锋侠客——读张脉峰先生的《我这十年》(许庆胜)
       发布时间:2015/7/19 浏览次数:598

      无根的青春漂泊、心灵遗恨与诗歌先锋侠客——读张脉峰先生的《我这十年》(许庆胜)

      我素来对先锋诗歌群体以及他们倾囊苦心经营先锋诗歌的努力,充满无量的艺术敬仰和尊重,这种尊重与敬仰至今仍然不减。作为一种类似天定的梦想与责任,我曾是八十年代他们群体中不算合格的一员,为此在世俗的物质夹缝中曾遍体麟伤,恨痕累累!所以,我读了同是先锋勇士的张脉峰先生寄自京华的先锋往惜血泪记录,陈年的伤又被深深洞开,让我抑至不住在今晚重回旧事,并象他诗中所诉的那样热泪横流!因为为了崇高的青春诗歌梦想我也曾或正在无根的四处漂泊和流浪,并遗恨丛丛!

      作为一代热血青年与同龄公民,在八十年代初期恰逢思想大解放的诗潮流变大波澜,我与我的同仁们天生而自觉地加入了这个注定漂泊无依的世纪性灵魂大流浪之中。那时我在高等学府求学时便狂热地迷恋上了诗歌,甚至感到比自身生命都重要,但天定的世俗物质卑微位置与无依无靠,总让这种梦想单薄而无力,找不到一处可以施展才华的港湾。直到大学毕业进入莱芜二中教学。但对此种平庸的世俗常态总感到无尽的窒息,总感到还有极为或更为重大的事业在等着我,于是我在授课之余也组织了“古船”诗社,并在平庸世俗的夹击中创办了《古船诗报》,陶醉于人生与诗歌事业的理想设计之中,为此也去狂热而盲目地敲名门、拜名师,犹如一只热锅上的蚂蚁。我曾长途跋涉骑自行车一日三百里速度由山东往北京,如是几次,最多时在北京呆上了一个暑假近两月有余,但那种无根的焦虑与苦难最终让我不得不屈服,望着北京茫茫的天空,别人的丛丛高楼大厦和如蚁的车流人流,我也曾自语:“我最后的晚餐在哪儿呢?”(见该书6页),“一扇扇门紧紧关闭/阻挡一切的鸟语花香/心灵没有缺口/我的诗歌无法逾越和穿过”(16页《门》),“除了真诚/我一无所有/我孤寂。孜然一身/在荒原上漫行/何处是我的归途/何处是我的家园”“始终我知道,我/只是一介穷酸书生/流浪儿  稻草人”“寒冷的时候/我泪眼巴巴地/静视低沉的天空/幻想”(43页)最后不得不自觉承认和屈服:“这个冬天无雪/我一贫如洗”(53页),因为我在这里没有根,我只能无根的漂泊流浪在他人的街街巷巷!所以我一次次去北京,最后依然原路返回!所以我曾在山东故乡接到过张脉峰君从水泊梁山热切寄来的《太阳诗报》,但那时正是我为诗歌梦想倍受世俗打击的低谷之期,我屈服于“强人”的停职停薪的惩罚,自幼偃旗息鼓,在那穷山恶水的发配地竟连一点回信的勇气也消失殆尽了!那个时段我自觉地从诗坛消失了,仅是热泪两行伴着我,再也不去做无根的漂泊!只是遗眼斑斑!所以今夜我读到张脉峰君的诗句才感到了自己的渺小、懦弱!脉峰君也去了北京,且一呆十年,从1992年至2002年,也常“大碗大碗地喝酒/喝到十二成以上/找一片林间空隙/在寂静处/打上一路醉拳/然后热泪横流”但他极为勇敢“以真诚作盘缠/以气作剑/刺向黑暗”(8页《游侠》),他“流浪他乡”(28页《热风》),但能“搭上枝箭。弓/成长成弓”“一个姿势。保持五千年/不变。”(20页《弓箭手》),他射向“权威”“引亢高歌”并认为“英雄/涂满金色的名字。背面/三朵蜘蛛。/正在/结网”(21页《生涯》),尽管也曾把春天设计成“最后”的一个,但他“面对死亡。我没有流泪”而且“面对死亡。我不会流泪”!他终于把根扎在了京华,并日趋繁茂!他无愧为行侠仗义水泊梁山之优秀后代子孙!令生于鲁国委曲求全孔孟之野的我惭愧而汗颜不已!

      这些还在其次,而最令人激动的还在于他为先锋文学建设自觉而有效的努力本身。民间是一个养殖先锋文学的广阔空间。但其贫瘠与地位低下的固有定势便决定了其崛起的艰难与凄惨血泪付出,而张脉峰君却能坚持数年,出刊三十多期,常常写下这篇题目,我的眼睛里已噙满泪水:“用全部生命和青春作赌注”(147页),并认为“雪溶于泪或泪溶于雪都是一种美丽。”(读书148页),他对先锋诗的丰盈和发展,功不可没!先锋诗歌作为新时期诗歌构成中最为自由最有价值的部分,当然地包括了实验诗与探索诗的全部,是当代诗歌中最美丽最辉煌的所在,它们虽然起步于具有强烈社会批判意识与英雄主义倾向的朦胧诗群,但并非是简单地直线式延续,而是审美观念连根拔起的巨大换代式壇变,崇尚最大限度的独立自由精神,努力淡化和不屑传统的崇高与使命意识,在更高层次上开掘生命风景和展示新的方程式。比如张脉峰君的这些诗中“冬雪”季节的永久存在,几乎成了他诗歌的中枢,即使有“七月”也仅仅是一种“梦幻”,有“热风”也“没有什么树。在风里/一段一段。/视线/流浪他乡”(28页《热风》)读起来比冬雪还要冷彻几分!这已是他无根漂泊与心灵遗恨的真实存照!他游侠式的散点出击,有着“保护妹妹”打抱不平式的新式味韵,在最早的朦胧诗群体中是绝少存在的,也有别于其他先锋群体。而在文体外观上的自觉破坏与重建也极为明显,比如“句号”向句子中间移动,如“空泛的词。生涯/如烟。短暂的小小的一根。”(21页《生涯》),这种貌似随意的设置,却有着自觉意识的向度,是对千百年来固有定势累积的惯性懒惰的句号意义的强烈不满与反抗!在西方艾略特等大师的作品中似乎有过,但在中国极度封闭的特定氛围中,却有着不同寻常的强化意义!“雪子”“梅”“玲子”等女姓形象地反复出现,与其说是所谓爱情的摹写,不如说是美好理想追求的假设象征物与人生指归,是西方骑士与情人模式的中国化和再创造。他的散文在我看来,也并非传统意义上的散文简单复制,“就这么短短的一夜,我经历了我的一生。”(73页),“祈望一季的活泼的鸟”“在我的诗篇中鸣唱”(65页)“阳光从侧面经过”等等,皆是先锋诗歌地横向拉长与重排。那两篇小说也是先锋式的隐喻与另类比:“等人”,等而错过,不是人生的盼而不得吗?那“玫瑰的谎言,”“艾雪”不甘于平庸生存,而不断地寻找浪漫,也是现代式伦理道德价值判断向低迷落后传统的勇敢诗化反抗与重构!

      “由于喜新厌旧的感情,由于希望别人达到高不可攀的尽善尽美的地步,结果我们不但对原来热爱的对象冷淡起来,而且感到讨厌,于是我们就不惜甩掉他们再向前跑,去寻找新的十全十美的事物。”(列夫·托尔斯泰《童年  少年  青年》)。《我这十年》便是“再向前跑”的具体艺术表征,她所呈现的先锋向度正召示新的文化精神与健全创造品魄,完善新的审美品格和价值取向,并指向美好的艺术与社会未来!

       


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